Hello and welcome to the first ever interview in our new series: Sex Stories. We’ll be anonymously talking to women, just like you, about the realities behind their sex lives – how often they’re having it, how it’s making them feel, and just what they’re really getting up to in the bedroom (or the car, office, beach, kitchen).
We hope you’ll find it interesting, maybe relatable, maybe eye-opening. But mostly, we hope it helps open up the conversation that not everything is as 2-3 times a week in missionary as we’re led to believe.
So here goes…
Meet Mary*. Mary’s 36-years-old and lives in Spain with her partner, who is 25. Here’s what she has to say…
“I’m coupled up and have been for almost two years now. I met my boyfriend, Michael*, on a very hot weekend in the south of Spain. A friend had invited me to visit a friend of friend and I decided to pack a swimsuit and embrace the spontaneity. On the way, she sent me a WhatsApp claiming that there was a “Greek God by the pool”. Turns out, she was right.
“Michael* was an Airbnb guest at the friend of a friend’s place, having just relocated to Spain. So it was completely random that we met – he was staying in their ‘dome’ which was basically a glamping pod overlooking the mountains. We joke that he asked if ‘I’d like to see the sunset’ from there. That was two hours in and after that I only left the pod for booze or a dip in the pool. The sex was incredible, partly because at that point I was like this is going to make for a great story, so I had no inhibitions. There was also the sunshine, I was the right level of drunkenness, plus, I couldn’t believe my luck to be with someone so buff. I think it was one of those situations where you clock someone and think – yep, it’s on!”
“We had a fairly wild 48 hours together, but I didn’t think much of it (especially as he was only 22 when we met). Little did I know that as he dropped me off at the bus station, it was the start of a long distance love story. I was seeing an older Spaniard when I met Michael*, and I knew after my night in the ‘dome’ that it was done. With the older guy it was all very ‘vanilla’. I think I realised that I wanted that crazy passion/spark – and even though it fades, I wanted to look back and know that we had it once.”
“To begin with, me and Michael* tried long-distance. He was living in the south of Spain and I lived in Madrid so the path to true love did not run smoothly. When we got to see each other, we used to spend our entire time at the beach and the rest of the time shagging (there was a lot of cystitis.) We live together now and we’ve spent a very tough Spanish lockdown together where we weren’t even allowed to exercise. At least we could enjoy some afternoon delight, and as he’s that much younger (and a PT) I’m a pretty lucky lady with no complaints!”
“I’d say on average we do it 3-4 times a week now. My boyfriend currently has a thing about having sex in front of a mirror. As far as who makes the first move? I’d say 50/50 – again, a massive ego boost as it’s not one-sided. Unlike other guys I’ve been with, Michael* never struggles to get/stay hard which is bloody fantastic. I think in the heady early days we had a six-hour on/off/on/off sex sessions and at that point I was like, shit – I can’t let this one go!”
“We used to have sex outside – a lot. The beach, the sea, wherever we could really, and I miss that. I also really miss holidays. We went to Italy in the summer and the combo of sun, sea and sand made it feel like the early days when we met and almost like a honeymoon after how brutal lockdown had been. I think a break from real life always helps where the spark’s concerned.”
“My fella is an old soul so I think I’m lucky to get the both of both worlds. Emotional maturity but the stamina (and let’s be real, horniness!) of someone in their early twenties. I’d say if you’re considering dating someone younger then go for it – I had zero expectations and yet somehow here we are and I couldn’t be without him. What started off as a very dirty weekend, followed by lots of phone sex and expensive train trips has become my most important relationship – we went from 0-60 but I wouldn’t change a thing about our story.”
*Names have been changed to protect identities.