I was watching one of the very first episodes of The Bold Type on Netflix, where Jane has to write about her best EVER orgasm (spoiler: she’s actually never had one before), and it got me thinking about how actually, I’d like to read about every day orgasms. The ones that usually happen without steamy, could-be-porn sex straight out of a raunchy novel – and so, I put it to you guys on Instagram stories.
So, here are your orgasm stories. You shared your sex and masturbation realities with The Leopard, and for that I am just so grateful.
Because actually, there’s something oddly comforting about finding out how and when other people are getting off, and realising there’s a lot more women out there just like you…
“My last orgasm was this afternoon, whilst my toddler napped on the floor downstairs and my fiancé was on a zoom call for work in the makeshift ‘office’ in our kitchen. After years of shame and embarrassment over my own sexual desires and masturbation – I’m fighting back and reclaiming it in a big way. I get stressy and grumpy if its been a while since we’ve had sex, but lockdown has killed my partners libido. So I have to make do. I found finding lots of sex positive accounts on IG helped me massively get over my own stigma around it. I now have a massive selection of toys but have my ‘favourites’. Glass dildo and Satisfyer are a winning combo. I usually masturbate in bed, under the covers, with the TV on for background noise.”
“I had a baby several months ago and after a fairly difficult pregnancy (with not a lot of sex) I was really happy when my libido gradually came back. I was feeling that new kind of intense love towards my partner; seeing him as a first time dad, looking after each other, and spending hours staring at our little human in our newborn bubble was such a gorgeous time. I really wanted to be intimate and close to him again as soon as my body felt ready. However, the physical recovery was harder than I thought it would be and with breastfeeding, a good old time with mastitis, latch issues and all the other struggles that came with new motherhood I often felt disconnected from my body and frankly just a bit touched out. As a person who is usually quite connected to their body I knew I had to do something to feel like myself again so during my next blurry eyed and sleep deprived morning shower – my usual desperate attempt to marginally wake myself up – I allowed myself to relax and reached for the shower head and after five or ten minutes, an orgasm and a slight guilt pang about wasting water, I felt more like me. I felt relaxed and energised and I felt like a person with needs of her own that were being met. I felt human.” First-time-mum, 26
“The last orgasm I had, like every other one I’ve ever had, has been alone – thinking about either the one guy who got away, or the female friend I fancy a bit. My late teens and early twenties were fun, but in spite of all that fun, something was lacking. I always put it down to the fact that I wasn’t in a long term relationship, that when I had a partner who understood me and my body, they would be able to make me orgasm. Sadly, 14 years down the line with my partner nothing has changed – the thought of verbalising my desires to him makes me cringe to the point I would prefer to continue the way it currently is. With a toy I am able to get myself off continuously in a short space of time… which I do, regularly. There is no build up, just a quiet moment when I’m alone in the house and I can lose myself.” Sales Manager, 36
“The last orgasm was roughly two years ago. I was in the kitchen, middle of the day, baby was napping, and my partner came into the kitchen and it went from there. I was standing up and he fingered me, and then afterwards we had penetrative sex and it was amazing. It sent my heart racing. Since I had my second baby right at the start of lockdown, I have been unable to orgasm. Me and my husband try, and I certainly want to, but I just can’t get there. Shame, embarrassment and how I look are all huge factors. I struggled silently with PND and this, coupled with a needy baby, certainly didn’t make for ‘us time’. I think the fact that my partner feels it’s his fault and so badly wants to make me orgasm puts even more unintended pressure on me. To try and improve our sex life we have begun experimenting with some vibrators in the past few months, one for me and one for us to use together as a couple.” Mum-of-two, 30
“The last time I orgasmed was last night and it was with my fiancé (first time I’ve used that word!). We’d spent all of yesterday afternoon arguing about money and the wedding and saving. So when we went to bed it was a very much needed stress relief. My friends describe me as either the lucky one or annoying one when it comes to orgasms, because I almost always climax. Last night my fiancé had my legs over his shoulders and it was rough and fast and it felt bloody amazing! We got out all the anger and I instantly felt better afterwards and fell asleep about 10 minutes later. We’ve recently had an ectopic pregnancy and we’re still having to use condoms for another month before we try again for a baby. I think everyone that’s actively tried for a baby for a long time knows how pressured and unenjoyable ‘ttc’ sex can get. So using condoms for the first time in years has made us feel like randy teenagers again and our sex life has improved in the last few months because of it. We’re now counting down the days until we start ttc again so we’re soaking up all the spontaneous sex while we can!” Information Services Assistant, 27
“I have had multiple sexual partners and between me not feeling able to communicate my needs and them not really caring about my pleasure, I thought I was one of those women that would just never get there. Over the course of my young adulthood I’ve spent hours pouring over forums of women like myself, some in their fifties and sixties, that had never experienced the big O and it left me feeling hopeless and left out. Every sexual encounter felt like not quite going high enough on the swing, I was always so close but then things just dissolved. I was getting desperate but decided one day to just let go of the idea of that wonderful final moment and just to focus on the enjoyable build up. Of course, that was the day I did it. Alone, in my bedroom, with Good Morning on in the background.” Florist, 24
“I’ve been in a long distance relationship for the last two years (thanks to the pandemic) which means I have had to get very creative with giving myself an orgasm. Phone sex and video calling sex gets real old very quickly, so my last orgasm was just after I got out the shower. I used my trusty vibrator “Dallas” (horrendous name, but what can you do!). Short, sweet (lasting about 3 mins), and everything I needed in the moment and for a good night’s sleep. The benefit of masturbating is that I know exactly what I like and how to get there. Some days we like to have video sex and drag it out for a steamy hour and some days I want it over and done with, alone and without anyone else involved.” Special Needs Teacher, 28