Coming to you this week with a fresh anonymous interview with one of our wonderful readers for our segment Sex Stories, in where one of you spill the details (and the realities) of your sex life.
Today’s interview is with Ava* who is 32-years-old and saving sex until marriage. This is her story…
“I’ve been single for about four years now, and before that I was involved in a pretty toxic relationship where I now believe I was emotionally abused. The guy made me feel like I was worthless without him and therefore I needed to be with him and do what he wanted. He kept me super-secret, we met at night due to ‘his job’ and I never met any of his friends or family. He also would cancel whenever I wanted him to meet my friends and family.
The straw that broke the camels back was I found out he had a girlfriend the entire time I have known him (about 3 years) and I found out through an Instagram post he had been tagged in by a friend at a wedding.”
“I am a Christian so I believe that sex is meant for a married couple and with one person. I have never had full penetration sex and won’t until I get married. Like any human, I have been tempted. In my last relationship, we did have oral sex – I felt pressured into it and when I was 18 I fell in love with a guy and during that relationship we would have oral sex and foreplay because I wanted him to stick around.”
“I find my current set-up is lonely and there is a bit of external pressure to get married. About 99% of my friends are all married and a big chunk are younger than me (around 6+ years) so I do sometimes question why am I not married? What’s wrong with me? Am I not attractive? I have to shut these thoughts down immediately otherwise I end up down a depressed rabbit hole. I hope my next relationship will be with the man I will marry. I don’t want to put myself in situations where temptation can enter in.”
“Whilst single, I don’t masturbate. It’s a grey area for Christians as it is performed on your own, but we believe it is an act that God designed to be between two people, in marriage. I think Masturbation is a selfish act, so I guess when married it wouldn’t be right to do as any pleasure should be with your other half. I think some people would do it for release but my release of tension is a good work out in the gym.”
“I am very excited about having sex and I know within marriage it is a great thing. I think sometimes what happens is people are taught to just not have sex before marriage and then when they do it when they are married, they feel guilty when it is a natural act God designed for pleasure and pro-creation. My sex life is all up for discussion with my husband (whoever that may be). I haven’t had it so I don’t know what I am missing out on and therefore what potential fantasies I have – I would just want it to be consistent, fun and loving!”